Children, Uncategorized

Safety First. The Quiet Death of a Generation.

I just watched a news segment on back to school in New York. A reporter asked a young child who was headed back on his first day, “What’s the most important thing you were told about going back to school?”

His answer?

“Be safe.”

My heart hurts. I expected, “Have fun!” or a least, “Make new friends!” I’d have even been happy with, “Learn a lot!”

But, “Be safe” ?!??

I want to cry. What are we doing?!??! What are we teaching our children? How will life be different for a child who grows up with safety as their first concern? Will a child who is always afraid ever be brave enough to take a risk? Step out of their comfort zone? Think outside the box? (Where, oh no! It might not be “safe.”)

We know that in order to be innovative, to step up as a leader, or even to just truly excel in life, we need to be willing to take risks.  We need to be willing to step out of our comfort zone and be uncomfortable.  To weigh safety against achievement. Are we unknowingly raising a generation of  people who will seek comfort and safety before success? Can we ever really go through life and thrive if we are constantly consumed with our physical safety?


What if those who ventured onto the Mayflower first stopped to ask, “Is this safe?”  Or what if the pioneers who migrated out west in search of gold first stopped to think, “Is this a safe choice?”  Did Neil Armstrong hesitate and say, “Wait guys…I’m not sure the moon looks all that safe.” I can’t imagine very many people would ever achieve or even do much, if safety was always the constant concern.  (I mean, most of us would never get into a car or step on a plane and certainly never dare enough to climb up Mount Everest.)  

Do you know what I’m scared of? An entire generation of people who will never experience the thrill of victory, who will never realize what they could accomplish or achieve if they would just be willing to take a risk. Because we conditioned them from childhood to …  be safe.


Now, I’m not minimizing the reality of COIVD19. I talk with my daughter about wearing her mask, washing her hands, and bringing sanitizer with her to the point she’s rolling her eyes at me on a regular basis. One of my best friends, who has probably been the most proactive throughout this whole Covid experience quarantining herself for over 21 weeks, was recently was diagnosed. (Which only affirmed to Emily that no matter what you do, you might still get Covid so you might just as well go live life with abandonment, which openly really wasn’t the message I was hoping she’d get).  So yes, with school starting, I’m definitely concerned for her safety. Our current argument is what will be an “acceptable mask” to wear to school. One that is socially acceptable (think Gap or Target) or one that mom deems medically acceptable. (Think N95, Cambridge or Vlog)

But, here’s the stark cold reality.  I’ve always been concerned for her safety.  From drop offs with her violent and abusive dad, which were ordered by the court against my frantic pleas, and continued until she was finally hurt and then given a life time restraining order, to nights sleeping next to her in her hospital bed listening to the beep beep of her vitals while cancer was trying it’s best to kill her (it lost and she won). I think about her going to college and college parties and my stomach does these funny flip flops. I think about her driving a car and drunk driver’s and then I’m the one ready to puke.  I mean the first time she went to sleep away camp I thought I was going to have a full blown nervous breakdown after the second night.  (Was she OK? Was she crying herself to sleep? Did she have sunburn? Did she tell them she wanted to go home and they just weren’t telling me? My baby needs me and someone help me break into camp and rescue her!!!!”)

Yet, I have to acknowledge that those are my fears and my job as her mom is to prepare her for life.  To encourage her to be responsible, make wise choices, and pursue life with a courageous heart in order to go boldly after her dreams. I hope that I will have given her a secure foundation of belief, confidence, and courage to live life in a way that when she’s old and gray herself, she will not be filled with regrets simply because she played it safe.

Yes, she will get hurt along the way. As much as I want to protect her from every pain, tear and heartache I can’t. I can only be there to hold her hand and remind her I’m always on “Team Emily,” God loves her even more than I do, and she is stronger than she thinks.

So, I will sanitize her up, put a mask on her face, and send her to school…and my message will be this …”Em just remember….have fun!

Uncategorized

I Missed Yoga, but Found a Flag

I’ve been thinking a lot about my core values over this season of COIVD, quarantine and political unrest.  Today, as I was driving through Highlands, NJ and a storm was coming in. (OK I was driving around because today I got up for outdoor yoga, yesterday it was sunny and gorgeous and I overslept, but today when it’s cold and rainy I wake up…only to find it was canceled…and a good reminder go when you can because in the current world COVID makes the rules when it rains.)

While I was driving home, I caught a glimpse of these beautiful flags flying in the drizzle & wind. I had to stop and take a picture (oh and a video for my insta of course).

My heart has been so heavy for our country recently. So much anger. So much hurt. People alienating each other with just a post or a meme.  People triggered over small things and silent over big things.  I find myself needing to stop regularly and reconnect with the higher energy of beauty and love that has always been and will always be in the world. A consciousness that comes from our Creator which I purposefully tap into because I refuse to be sucked into the darkness and anger that I feel swirling around me.

Yet, as I stood there in awe of these flags for a brief moment I was reminded…this is who we are. This is what we stand for. The flag is our physical representation of our core values.  And I was reminded, we are better than we’ve been acting.

50 stars and 13 stripes remind me:

  • We are the land of the free because of the brave.
  • We are one nation under God, founded by families seeking freedom of religion not freedom from religion.
  • We are a nation of equality, where all men are created equal. And while as a nation, we have had to mature to understand what “men” represents, (men= human race of every color and gender) each day gives us a new chance to embrace what “all” really needs to look like.
  • We are a land which protects inalienable rights for life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness.

As a country, we need to remember who we are, our core values.  Together, we need to eliminate anything that threatens our inalienable rights. Recognize where in the past (or currently) we aren’t living up to who we are, honor our core values and begin to stand in our greatness.

I think of the Statue of Liberty and what it meant to my mother’s ancestors when they first saw it as they entered Ellis Island. I think of how my Irish paternal great-grandparents felt leaving their home to escape starvation during the potato famine and coming to the USA with hopes and dreams of a new life and new possibilities.  I think of the people like my friend Kwan who just received her citizenship and threw a USA party.  How many pray to come here and sacrifice so much to get here.   I think of how much I take a simple thing like the American flag, protecting my freedom, for granted.  Even being able to write my unedited thoughts on a public forum is a freedom I might not have in another country.  Yet, with that freedom of speech comes deep responsibility. The responsibility that my words reflect my core values, not my fluctuating feelings. Much like a relationship that is destroyed in one hate filled rant, our words our powerful.

So I will use my words to speak love, respect and compassion. I will pray those who are hurting are healed & those who are victimized are vindicated. And mostly, I will pray that we remember our core values as a country because one thing will always be true, “a house divided against itself can not stand.”  we are stronger 𝚃𝙾𝙶𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁.