“Women know how to fake an Orgasm. Men know how to fake an entire relationship” ~ Sharon Stone
Month: June 2010
BACON & BRATS
LOVE LOVE LOVE Chances Denver Serioulsy a Brat wrapped in Bacon?? Could that be any yummier! Check out the “Dice” dessert we had at Saturday’s Grand Opening!
MY EX IS STILL BALD
I have been separated since April ’08.
Divorced in Feb ’09.
I already had my “Anniversary Party” to my “Divorce Party” this March ’10.
Today in my junk mail I received an email with the subject:
“Robert! Just following up!”
“Oh boy, what is this now?” was my inital thought. After all, this is the same man who signed up for an E Harmony online dating account from JAIL and then billed it to my credit card. I wanted to delete it and not look…but just like you can’t hide a Christmas present in my house without me searching it out (Hey I snooped on my engagement ring, and yes, I admitted it) I’m like a cat and curiosity will kill me.
I opened it.
It was a mass email “following up” about my ex’s request for hair! Something for men’s hair restoration. I giggled.
When my daughter was 3 she told my brother he wasn’t a man. Her reasoning was he had hair. My ex (her dad) had told her men don’t have hair. (insecurity rearing its ugly head much?) We had to go through the whole family AND EXTENDED family to point out every man we knew who had hair. Uncle Jamie, Uncle Lonnie, Uncle Jon, Cousin Jeffery, Cousin Justin, Mr. Chris, Mr. Cliff (thank goodness my cousin was dating a guy with hair at the time, sorry Jud), Pop Pop, etc. It took at lot of convincing but she finally conceded …men have hair. I thought it was hysterical that he was that self conscious of his hair loss he had to tell her this.
When we were married he made me go to a “consultation” for hair “replanting” – which was going to cost me $8,000. Meanwhile he ws jobless and spending all my money on beer.
So today I giggled.
I might be struggling keeping up with my bills, I might have a house painted 2 different colors (he was arrested mid-paint job!), I might have my own parking spot at the Jefferson County Court house because I’m there so much, I might be on a 1st name basis with the Jefferson County Police because they know my Ex so well, I might not be driving a pink Cadillac (temporarily), I might live 1800 miles from my family because my Ex wanted to isolate me from them, and I might sometimes wonder “how did my life get here???” but I have my hair. Lots of it. Dark, sexy, just tossed around the bed room hair. (well according to J & P which is why I wear it curly now 🙂
And the only bald person I have to be responsible for now is 3 not 33.
I WANT MY LIFE TO BE LIKE A NORAH JONES SONG..PEACEFUL, HEARTFELT & SEXY
EM’s NEW FAV HOBBY
I ONLY HANG WITH NON BORING PEOPLE
This one speaks for itself…I hang on an Oncology floor with kids who are battling cancer..I have no further comment….(names have been changed to protect the not so innocent)
This was a chat from a guy who I don’t know but is on FB with me…
H~ So you connect women one at a time
Me ~ yup sometimes men too 🙂
H~ can you connect me with adventure and excitement my life is fucking boring!
Me ~ hmm prob not ~I ususally only hang w none boring people 🙂
have a good night
Me ~ Figures?
sorry to bug
ima go loath myself
When Emily says she’s bored – I quote Marilu Henner who’s mom would tell her growing up …”If you’re bored, you’re boring.” Very openly I don’t think I have ever been BORED in my life! I don’t even know what bored feels like! Especially since we live in Denver how in the world could you be bored? There is so much to do! And if you don’t have anything to do may I suggest…
Join a meet up group! www.meetup.com. You can find a group for anything! Ranging from “normal” (Denver Nightlife, Fun Things to do in Denver) to bizarre… (Denver Free Hugs ~ “we are a group of people who are interested in meeting in public places & offering free hugs to the general public” ~ they have 38 members BTW)
If you’re a woman join TriStyle (www.tristylegirls.com) or Denver Diva’s (http://www.facebook.com/denverdivas) and meet some fantastic new friends.
If you ride a bike (yes I think you are crazy) go to that cruiser thing where you ride around Denver in the middle of the night going to different pubs, blocking up traffic, annoying us non riders, and having way too much fun. (www.denvercruisers.com)
If you’re on Facebook join groups and get invites to fun events (I just sent an invite to Mike V’s new bar opening Chances this weekend! www.chancesdenver.com) seriously I get invites for everything from club events, happy hours, to meditations and film festivals.
Volunteer – help someone else while you help yourself get a life. Metro Volunteers is perfect because you don’t have to make a commitment, you can just pick & choose the projects you want to do. www.metrovolunteers.org
Join a Rec Center, take classes at Colorado Free University, go to church, join MOPS, go to a Free Networking Event and for the love of God SMILE! I seriously meet more people by SMILING then anything else.
No one is going to have a life sitting around at home complaining how bored they are. And I hate to be the one to break it to you that if you’re over 5 it’s no one’s job to keep you entertained. It’s your life. So taking a cue from Tammy Crayk, it’s time to look yourself in the mirror and say “You are the problem.” Then you can smile and say “And You are the Solution”
Go get yourself a life and then lets hang 🙂
YOU & YOUR FRICKIN’ HEADACHE
I got a text from a guy I really like…
“Another Frickin headache today 😦 How are you?”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t think of one non-confrontational thing to say. He had a migraine the night before. I get that. I get migraines. Horrible. I have to lie in a dark room. My stomach is riveted with nausea. Noises feel like hammers on my head. Headaches hurt.
And yet this text is from someone who knows me. Knows I’m spending my night on the 7th floor Oncology Department at Children’s Hospital. Your headache needs a “frickin?”
I wanted to text back….
“You don’t have cancer stop complaining”
“I’ll trade you for cancer”
“There’s a young boy next door who can’t go home because they are draining fluid out of his brain with an exterior shunt and he keeps getting fungus infections…I bet he has a headache too”
“The baby on the other side of us with Down Syndrome and Leukemia has been up all night..I bet her mom has a headache”
“Probably not the best person to text this to for sympathy..you know cancer and all…”
What I really wanted to say is WHY? WHY? WHY? would you fill my day with your negativity? How do I balance being sympathetic (headaches stink) with my complete new zero tolerance for complaining.
(Want to read more? Read the full post by clicking on MAKING CANCER FUN)
ARE YOU A MODEL & OTHER CHEESY PICK UP LINES
Walking in Cherry Creek yesterday – some guy (5’6″) in his (50’s?-60’s) comes up to me – and tells me to go to ABC salon and ask for “Crystal” she will give me a free hair cut. I must be a model he says. He’s going on and on and says he “likes” me. Now this has becoming a common theme with men I don’t know….my standard response has become…”You don’t like me, you don’t even know me.” Now if they said “I like how you LOOK” that would make sense …I like “YOU?” Really buddy? How do you like someone you don’t know ….? He then goes on and on and tells me that he is married to a 5’11” model….She is out of town modeling right now…
Now does anyone believe this guy is married to a 5’11” model? I sincerely hope I am not the only one these strange “run ins” happen to!
WOMEN & UNEMPLOYMENT
Unemployment rate up again for women who head families (to 11.6% in May from 11.0% in April) – http://bit.ly/XUtpL
Another reason I’m grateful I have my Mary Kay business! Check out how this economy has effected Mary Kay …http://marykay.com/tgeraghty …click under SELL MK and then MK IN THE NEWS
WHAT TO DO IN DENVER ON A SUNDAY
Jazz in the Park! I was just Jazz this sunday – that place is PACKED! I mean I think all of Denver was there…I love love love jazz park – it is the perfect mix … here’s why….
A perfect place to people watch – better than 16th street mall!
A perfect place to BBQ
A perfect place for families with kiddos – let them run crazy, tire themselves out
Perfect place to play volleyball etc (well I don’t do those things – you know – sports – but it looks like other people were having fun)
Perfect place to just throw down a blanket and lay out in the sun
Perfect place to meet new people – lots of hot guys & girls
Perfect place to crack open a bottle of wine (ok I actually don’t know if you are legally allowed to crack open a bottle of wine…might have to check the law on that one….)
Perfect date place – casual, fun, free, and if it’s a bad date you can always pray for rain
Oh and if you like Jazz the music is pretty good too 😉 (the whole reason we’re there right?)
Find out more http://www.cityparkjazz.org/